This time of year experts are full of advice to help
Americans cope with holiday stress. I
think our own efforts to meet unreasonable expectations cause this annual
misery. There are parties we must host
and attend. Holiday gifts are real budget busters. Feasting destroys waistlines. Excessive drinking damages relationships as
it attacks the liver. But the worst part
is having to hang out with people we don’t like. Most of the year you can avoid that smelly
relative who doesn’t believe in baths, but you have to sit beside him at
Thanksgiving dinner.
“Try to accept
family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of
your expectations.” Like all advice,
this bit should be taken with a grain of salt and tempered with a massive dose
of common sense.
In Florida on Thanksgiving Day, 2009, Paul Merhige showed
up at his family Thanksgiving dinner. Paul’s
uncle, the host of the party, had earlier told Paul’s parents that Paul was not
invited. Paul had a history of violence
caused by mental illness. Shortly after
his arrival at the dinner, Paul pulled out a gun and opened fire on his
relatives. He killed both of his
sisters, his little niece, and his aunt.
He also shot his brother-in-law. Lawyers
for the survivors and the estates of the dead relatives sued Paul’s parents,
claiming that Paul’s parents had told him about the party and invited him to
come. Arguably this invitation subjected the family to “foreseeable danger.”
Over the years, Paul was involuntarily committed to
mental health facilities on three separate instances because of his violent outbursts. He repeatedly threatened to kill family
members. Refusing to let Paul live with
them, his parents gave him a condominium, money, and a housekeeper. Before the murders, the housekeeper had
warned the parents that Paul wasn’t taking his psychotropic medications. The Court found that “the depraved nature of
Paul’s mind is unquestioned.”
The law has been reluctant to hold people liable for
the criminal actions of others.
Exceptions to this rule include cases imposing liability against
landlords who fail to take reasonable steps to protect tenants. Businesses, employers, jailers, hospitals and
schools may be liable when their negligence results in harm to customers,
employees, prisoners, patients, and students.
In those cases, the courts have found a “special relationship” between
the defendants and the injured parties.
This relationship imposes a duty of reasonable care.
In February, a Florida court ruled that there was no
special relationship between Paul’s parents and their relatives. They had no duty to refrain from action that
would predictably result in the deaths of their daughters and their helpless
six year old granddaughter. It further
found that imposing such a duty would violate public policy. It said that “[f]amily members with
psychological or behavioral problems are a common occurrence” and that
“families should be encouraged to include a troubled family member in the
family circle.” It did not want to
“discourage families from providing a haven to troubled relatives.” (Note that
Paul has graduated from “depraved” to “troubled.” Also note that while the Court envisions family
gatherings as a “haven,” the Mehrige party was more like a slaughterhouse.)
The case evokes many reactions. Gun control advocates argue that it is yet
another example of the carnage caused by our nation’s refusal to enact gun
control laws. Their opposition claims
that the case points to a need for everyone to have guns. Had the host of the party been packing, Paul
may not have attacked. If he had
attacked, his uncle could have stopped him with a bullet or two. Imagine the happy family sitting around the
dinner table with guns strapped to their hips.
It certainly gives a new meaning to the term “food fight.” You’d better believe I’ll pass the potatoes –
pronto.
An average citizen like me is in no position to
resolve these debates in time for this year’s mayhem. As I studied the case, I wondered what I
would have done had I been at that Thanksgiving dinner when Paul showed
up. I’ve decided that once he appeared
on the front porch, it was too late to do anything.
Whoever invited
Paul to the gathering put everyone in a no-win situation. Calling the police, trying to leave, or
ordering Paul to leave may have triggered an attack. When crazy Paul walked in, folks did the only
thing that seemed reasonable. They tried
to avoid making him angry and prayed that they’d get out alive. Of course, it’s pretty impossible to avoid
making “depraved” people angry. They
typically show up enraged – or “troubled.”
I don’t know about you, but the court’s ruling has
certainly added to my holiday stress.
From now on, I’ll have to devise an escape plan in the event of the
arrival of an uninvited homicidal maniac.
Perhaps it’s just easier to stay home.
While this doesn’t encourage the growth of strong family bonds, it may
reduce the stress, murders, and suicides that accompany the holidays. Perhaps we should just Skype or send a
holiday email. It would certainly be
less stressful. I’ll sign up for Skype
tomorrow.
By the way, Happy Thanksgiving.
