In 1993, London police found the bodies of newlyweds
Harry and Nicola Fuller in their home in East Sussex, England. Although Mr. Fuller, a 45 year old car
dealer, was known to hoard “wads” of cash, police found little money at the
home. The killer had shot Mr. Fuller once in the back. Four separate shots took out his 27 year old
wife. The last bullet shattered her jaw
and head as she called 999 for help. The
dispatcher thought she was hearing children playing and did not route the call
to police.
Stephen Young stood trial for the double
homicide. The night before rendering
their verdict, and allegedly after a drunken party at the hotel where they were
sequestered, four members of the jury consulted a Ouija Board to ask Mr. Fuller’s
spirit to identify his murderer. Having
lost the Board’s planchete, the four used an upturned wineglass to spell out
the answer from Mr. Fuller. The spirit –
or spirits – identified Stephen Young as the killer.
Shortly after the trial, the court learned about the
Ouija Board verdict and ordered a new trial for Mr. Young. The second jury – without the benefit of a
Ouija Board – convicted Mr. Young. So, I
ask you, based on this evidence, is the Ouija Board reliable?
If you require further evidence of its reliability,
consider the manner in which the Ouija Board became patented. Elijah Jefferson Bond applied to patent the
Board in 1890. The patent official
initially refused to issue a patent because he did not believe that the Board actually
communicated with the spirit world. Bond
suggested that they put the Board to a test.
The official agreed to issue the patent if the Board could answer a
question – how to spell the official’s last name. Bond put the question to the Board and
amazingly – assuming the officer’s last name wasn’t Jones or Smith- the Board
correctly spelled the bureaucrat’s surname.
The patent issued. As you
contemplate the wonder of this last tidbit, please disregard published claims
that Bond, referred to by skeptics as a “patent attorney,” probably knew the
officer’s last name from prior dealings with the office. The ABA created the Patent Law section in
1893, three years AFTER the Ouija Board’s patent. Accordingly, Bond was not a “patent
attorney.” It is true, however, that
Bond was a lawyer who had previously patented many devices.
If you are still not convinced of the
reliability of the Ouija Board, consider the recent research of well-respected
cognitive psychologists who claim to have discovered the “inner zombie.” Assume you are driving down one of two familiar routes
that you take when you visit a friend.
Along the way, you think about the good times you’ve enjoyed with this
person in the past. When you arrive at
her house, you can’t remember which route you took. Scientists say that the “inner zombie” part
of your brain did the driving.
Dr. Helene L. Gauchou, an imminent psychologist from
the University of British Columbia, uses the Ouija Board to study this inner
zombie. She builds upon research
conducted by Harvard psychologist Dr. Daniel Wegner. She found that people who used a Ouija Board
to answer obscure yes/no questions “got it right” 65% of the time. Statistically, one would expect a 50%
accuracy rate. Scientifically, the 15%
increase is significant.
I have no idea whether spirits or our own hands cause
the movements that enable the Ouija Board to give us answers. Perhaps, as ancient alien theorists have
suggested, aliens from a far off galaxy are using the Ouija Board as a
communication portal. Even without extra-terrestrial help, however, I can
tell you one thing for sure. Although a jury’s use of a Quija Board may bring in the right verdict, it will certainly result in a mistrial.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
