This May Save A Life

                                                                     JULY, 2020

                

Yesterday, I went to a doctor’s office to be tested for COVID 19. Instead of a test, I may have gotten a lethal dose of the corona virus. I write this law letter to help you avoid a similar fate. First, some important tips:

Before choosing a health care provider, look for the following:

1.  Can you fill out all check-in and payment documents    online?

2.  Do those forms ask about your exposure to COVID 19?    Do they ask whether other persons who live with you have been exposed to the virus?

3.  Does the clinic require you to wear a mask?

Once you arrive at the office, look for the following:

1.    Can you wait in the car until the doctor is ready to see you?

2.    Before you go into the office, does a gloved, masked staff member come to your car to take your temperature as well as that of other persons in your car?

3.    Does the staff member escort you into the office, opening the door for you?

4.    Are you provided a hand sanitizer to use upon entering the office?

5.    Are there social distancing markers inside the office?

I work for several dental clinics in North Carolina.  They all carry out these safety measures, among others.  The medical clinic I went to yesterday followed none of these  recommendations.  This is what happened to me:

Having filled in the online forms, I drove to the office.  I put on my mask and gloves before entering the closet-sized reception area.

 

A masked lady, who was not wearing gloves, greeted me and gave me another set of forms to fill out. As she was talking to me, another patient arrived. He stood a few inches behind me.  He was muscular and over six feet tall. He was blocking my exit. The receptionist said nothing.  I grabbed the paperwork and squeezed past him to get out of the office.  No social distancing at this place! 

I had already answered most of the questions online. Standing up and writing with gloves on is hard, so I sat on the bench outside the office.  When I finished, I returned to the office and gave the forms to the receptionist. 

While I stood outside, a couple arrived.  The man went in and began arguing with the receptionist. He was not wearing a mask.  The lady, wearing beach clothes, sat on the bench.

The receptionist, again with no gloves, opened the door and came outside with the man where the argument continued.  The receptionist repeatedly told the lady, “Your test came back positive! You can’t go to work!” 

I realized then that I was the only person entering or leaving that office who had worn gloves.  The infected patient, and probably many others like her, had also sat on the same bench where I had sat.  The office door handle and the bench were likely covered in corona virus germs.  No telling what I would find inside the office.

By this time, having waited 20 minutes, I left.

 

Be careful out there.  As for me, I’m making sure my affairs are in order.  I’ve already paid for my funeral and have a hazmat suit in case I ever have to go outside again.

Patrice Walker

Ain't Nothing Funny About This!!!

In the fall of 1969, Dad drove me to college in Richmond, Virginia, to begin my freshman year.  After moving me into the dorm, he sat down for a father-daughter talk.  Although I was excited to be in college, I was nervous as I didn’t know any one at the school.

          As always, Dad sensed how I felt.  He said, “Now Trice, there’s absolutely nothin’ for you to be worried about here.  If anything comes up that you can’t handle, you just pick up the phone and I’ll be here within two shakes of a rattlesnake’s tail.”

“But, Dad”, I asked, “how will I know whether I can handle the problem on my own?”

He answered, “Well, you think about the problem a bit and if you can’t find anything funny about it, you call me.”

The past few weeks, I’ve thought about that afternoon.  I’m hiding out at my home office from a highly contagious virus that’s killing thousands of people worldwide.  If that weren’t bad enough, the stock market has tanked.  I wonder if my meager life savings will be in the bank next week.  Will there even be a bank next week? I have thought and thought but I can’t find anything funny about this. 

 At a time like this, I believe Dad would have told me to see if I could find anything else that was funny.  After all, any laugh would help.  Luckily a 2019 State Bar Ethics opinion flashed across my news feed. Thinking that you folks could also use a laugh, I’m passing it on.

It seems that a district attorney and a criminal defense lawyer decided to have an affair.  You might think that they would have a few worries – jealous spouses, rashes, or pregnancy.  But these two were most worried about the State Bar finding out.  Now I don’t think the State Bar has a sex investigations unit, but just to be careful, these lawyers asked the Bar for an opinion. 

First, the Bar thoroughly researched the issue, citing cases from around the country.  (I didn’t know that this type of behavior was a nationwide epidemic, but apparently it is a big problem.)  Then, after due consideration, the Bar ruled that in order to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest, the lawyers should FIRST obtain their clients’ informed, written consent to the affair.  

I’m not sure what information you have to give your client to be sure that the consent is informed.  I leave that to your imagination.  As far as getting consent, I guess the district attorney will have to request a special election so he can get written consent from his clients – the local voters.  Imagine the campaign promises!!!  It would surely get out the vote.   Is a majority vote sufficient?  Or does the DA need 100% approval?

But my chief worry is that when these two lovebirds told the Bar that their affair had gone on for “one to three months,” they had unknowingly confessed to the crime of lewd and lascivious cohabitation.  (N.C. Gen. Stat. 14-184). 

Now you might think that the “carrying on” could not have been too “lewd and lascivious” as the lawyers couldn’t remember how long it went on.  Of course, that depends on the legal meaning of “lewd and lascivious cohabitation.”  As a law student, I was clueless – but couldn’t wait to find out.  To my surprise, it doesn’t matter which sex acts took place. The only issue is how long the sex continued.  In the landmark Robinson case, the Court noted that the defendants had been shacked up in a trailer park for   three or four weeks.  That was entirely too long.

Years ago, a local high school asked me to teach a law class.  As I was explaining the dangers of lewd and lascivious conduct, one young fellow asked, “Does that mean that on day 14, I need to break up with my girlfriend and hang out with someone else for a day or so and then I can go back?”  Before I could answer, an angry young lady in the back of the class yelled, “No!!!! You MAY NOT!”   The lecture kind of disintegrated from there and, to my surprise, I was never asked to return.

Dad was one of the wisest people I ever knew.  He’s right.  You can always find something funny.  And when you can laugh, you can handle anything.  We’ll get through this.  We’ve seen worse.

Patrice Walker